5 Surprises in Pregnancy That No One is Talking About
I’m here to spill the tea for you on some shocking pregnancy symptoms and won’t hold back on the details. So grab a snack and let’s dive in.
Hey Mama, we need to chat. Pregnancy is magical, yes! AND… There are some straight-up crazy things that happen during pregnancy that I don’t hear many people talking about. Because I love spilling the tea for you on the real and raw truth, I’ll share five strange surprises about pregnancy that I wish someone had whispered in my ear between 2am bites of pickles and cheese.
Surprise #1: The Dreams!
Very early in my first pregnancy I started experiencing some WILD dreams. Wild dreams of two very distinct flavors. The first flavor… apocalyptic. Like serious mama bear energy coming through. World ending scenarios, wars, brawls, you name it, my mama bear claws were coming out. This felt like great practice.
The second flavor was… a flavor of love. Ha. Very realistic and visceral. They’d even wake me up. I kid you not.
So if you’re having wild vivid dreams, fear not. You are most certainly not alone. And if your experience is similar to mine, you’ll likely keep having them throughout. Or at least until the third trimester insomnia kicks in.
Side note - dreams during pregnancy can also be deeply symbolic, prophetic, and meaningful. So tune in and maybe even consider starting a pregnancy dream journal. Sometimes our dreams bring up shadows we need to work through and wounds that are asking for more healing. Don’t let these opportunities for deeper self knowing and growth go unnoticed.
Surprise #2: The Bleeding. What?!
Excuse me, I thought that one of the benefits of pregnancy was not bleeding anymore. I was shocked when around six weeks I started spotting and then bleeding more heavily for a couple of weeks. I had no idea that someone could bleed as much as I did and remain pregnant. But my little nugget was determined to stick.
I won’t make light of this situation without acknowledging that it was initially very concerning and an emotional time for me.
I decided that I would trust and wait and not engage with the medical system out of fear. I was speaking with a midwife (not the one I ended up hiring) who was very supportive and explained to me a few things that may be happening. She told me that I could go in for an internal (intravaginal) ultrasound if I wanted to check on the baby and see what was going on. She also asked if I wanted to talk through the possibility of experiencing a loss at home, and I accepted that counseling. I even bought supplies to facilitate collecting the tissues and being able to see and honor them (not flush them) so that I would be practically ready should that occur.
Thankfully my little bean held on tight and the mesh strainer I’d purchased never needed to be used for its potential purpose. That whole experience was a deep initiation for me into further trusting my body, trusting God’s timing and purpose, and trusting my birth journey.
What likely happened (but is undiagnosed because I chose to trust in the mystery instead of engaging with the industrialized system of birth to give me answers) is that I probably was experiencing a subchorionic hemorrhage. Which is basically where a bleed develops behind the placenta as it is forming and attaching to the uterus. If that’s what it was, mine resolved on its own and I stopped bleeding and spotting after a total of about three weeks.
Through my discussion of my own bleeding with a friend who is also a naturopathic doctor, I learned that some women can bleed FOR THEIR ENTIRE PREGNANCY. Yes, you read that right. RUDE. And also, who knew?! Not me (a birth doula!) so don’t feel bad if you didn’t know either.
To all of the mamas whose bleeding doesn’t resolve and that spirit baby chooses not to come in at that time, I feel for you deeply and I’m sending you so much love across the quantum field.
Surprise #3: The Nectar (And Laundry!)
Ok here’s one strange pregnancy symptom that I was kinda mad no one ever told me about. Because I literally thought it was just me until I bashfully opened up about it to some friends and came to learn that this is common. What is up with all the discharge in pregnancy?
Side note, “discharge” is such an undesirable word. While chatting with a friend about it, she renamed it as “nectar” which just sounds infinitely better than “discharge” and will henceforth be the proper term in my mind. Feminine nectar for life. Divine feminine nectar!
But seriously, why did no one tell me that the laundry would not wait to build up until the baby came and the blowouts and spit up rags soon followed. Instead, the laundry starts in pregnancy. Because if you’re anything like me, you’ll go through three to five pairs of underwear per day due to the mind blowing abundance of feminine nectar.
Yes, I could have used a panty liner and spared myself the laundry, but that’s so uncomfortable and not breathable and just… no thank you. I’d rather the laundry. And more than anything I would have just appreciated a heads up from the mamas of the world. So here’s your heads up.
In terms of WHY this marvelous phenomenon occurs - I don’t actually know. My theory is that the intuitive all knowing yoni is keeping everything clean and clear. Flushing away anything that would try to infiltrate and disturb the microbiome of the birth canal and the womb. A plus side to all of the laundry? Feminine nectar is nature’s lube. So if the mood strikes, mama, have at it and enjoy.
Surprise #4: The Soreness
Ok, this one may not come as much of a surprise. But I wanted to talk about a few specific kinds of soreness I experience, not just a general complaint about pregnancy discomfort. I’ll touch on my experience with my boobs, feet and pelvis.
The boobs. I knew they’d be sore when a baby started sustaining life from them. And you hear about general breast soreness as an early indication of pregnancy. But this first trimester breast tenderness was like nothing I’d imagined. They were SO. SORE. When I’d wake up in the morning (or to pee at night which started way earlier than I thought it would!) I’d have to take a moment on the edge of the bed and let my boobs adjust to an upright position. (Ha! Not kidding, unfortunately.) I’d even cradle them for the first moment of standing. They were that sore. It was nothing like breast tenderness during menstruation. This was next level. Be prepared.
The feet. This was one I didn’t see coming. The breasts and the pelvis, yes. The feet, not so much. Sometime in early second trimester my feet became incredibly sore and it didn’t go away until after birth. This wasn’t “I’ve been on my feet all day and they’re tired” soreness, this was pins and needles absolute shock in the morning soreness. It got progressively better throughout the day. And I kept up my 5k-10k steps per day despite the discomfort. But wowza. Get you some cozy slippers, girl.
And finally, the pelvis. I expected I’d have some pelvic discomfort, but like the breast tenderness I was surprised at how early it happened. It was around 20-25 weeks pregnant (about halfway) that it was the worst. My tailbone and pubic bone were extremely sensitive and unhappy. Thank God I was receiving internal pelvic floor physical therapy at the absolute best clinic in my area (maybe best anywhere!)- without that care I would have been miserable. Check them out here.
There was a point where I canceled plans with friends or made them come to me because I couldn’t bring myself to drive an hour. It was sitting that was most uncomfortable for my pelvis. In pregnancy, a hormone called relaxin softens the muscles and ligaments of the uterus and pelvis to prepare the body for carrying and birthing a growing baby. I knew my pelvis would open and change shape, but I was surprised by how early the discomfort began. You’ve probably heard about “lightning crotch?” Well this was occasional lightning crotch accompanied by constant aching and the need to change positions every five minutes. Driving in the car? No bueno…
My amazing pelvic PT helped immensely and the discomfort lasted about 5 weeks then dissipated. I received pelvic floor therapy from about 14 weeks pregnant through the week before I gave birth. I’ll elaborate on this in a future post. It was amazing. My physical therapist gave me a great tip for driving (well for sitting, but it came most in handy for me when driving since at home I mostly sat on a big birth ball)... grab a pool noodle, cute in down to about a foot in length and sit on it (between your legs, parallel to your legs). It’s like a tiny and much more gentle foam roller for the pelvic region. This hack saved me from becoming an absolute homebound recluse during those weeks of heightened discomfort.
I have a lot to say about reframing “pain” during pregnancy as a tool for birth preparation. I’ll cover that in a future post, but here’s a hint… you may have noticed I didn’t use the word pain at all in my above descriptions. That was intentional.
Surprise #5: Tripping Sober
This one is my favorite. And I’ll keep it short and sweet. Being pregnant was trippy. I felt like I was microdosing on the daily. Which is funny, because it was actually my longest period of sobriety since college. And I loved every minute of it. I didn’t miss the alcohol or anything else I refrained from. Because my mind, body and spirit were already in a state of natural elevated bliss. Colors appeared more vibrant, I laughed more, I felt surges of energy pulsing through me - it was incredible. It makes sense, we pregnant ladies are growing a human and have a whole being with their own life force energy inside of our wombs. It’s miraculous. And I glowed. That part was no surprise, because we all hear about the pregnancy glow.
The Glow is No Surprise.
Ahhh… just writing this while my sweet boy naps is making me miss that phase. I’ll take the soreness and the excess nectar and everything all over again just for that trippy sober glow. What’s amazing, is when I meditate on that feeling, I feel like I can still embody that. I can still tap in. And so can you. Glow on, mama.
Well, lovely. Thanks for coming on this journey with me through five honest and raw surprises during pregnancy. Why does no one tell us these things about being pregnant? I suppose that everyone experiences it differently, so maybe they’re not holding out after all. Did you experience any of these pregnancy symptoms were you already familiar with them from some other avenue? I hope you found this tell-all helpful, or at least entertaining.